For quite some time now, our Marchioness lil Molly has been over the top reactive towards our mellow, happy go lucky girl, Miss Sadie. When the two see each other their engagement is anything but friendly. As you can clearly see, that is not the case any more!
Thank dawG!!
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Sadie - "Okay we're friends now right?" lil Molly - "Sure, but - the toys are mine okay?"
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From their initial meeting and onward, when they visited together, I saw no sign of disapproval from either towards the other. There showed normal behaviours over who would get the 'best' toys or jockeying for position or squabbling over romping techniques and buddies. Nothing out of the ordinary that couldn't be rectified by a "BIG VOICE" with a "Leadership Bark" from me.
However, somewhere down the line something happened and I could not put my finger on what it was. Had I done something to create such disdain between these two. It was beginning to eat me up and I could feel my confidence wain during their visits. I know enough about dog's behaviours to know they can, will and do feed off their leaders emotions. I believe I was showing them my own self doubt and insecurity. I was dwelling on what the heck must have happened on one of their past visits.
Was I now giving them some form of chemical signal that I was not in control. Did that put them into a defensive mode when the other was present? Did they feel they needed to step into a leadership role because their current leader was failing? The more I thought about it the more I lost confidence.
During their visits together, I had to separate them with a gate and
swap around who played in what area, and who laid where indoors. One was
not walked past the other when leading in or out. One used the
downstairs door the other went out upstairs. One would be in the living room the
other behind a gate with a buddy One slept upstairs with me the other
downstairs with daddy. I was on my toes at all times. I made it work and
all were kept safe but I couldn't figure out why??.
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Clearly these two no longer need to be separated by gates!
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Finally during a conversation with their mom and dad, I discovered what had happened!
There
had been an altercation between these two as they met up on a public
walk. They were bringing that history into daycare and continuing the
battle. Well, for cryin' out loud! Puzzle solved.
Self confidence restored! Lesson learned.
Stay in leadership mode at all times even during an altercation of unknown origin.
Aggression
and bullying are NOT allowed here. I had let my love for these two
sweeties get in my way and was not displaying the proper authority they
required to "Get over it"
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Hey Sadie, Wanna share my ball with me.
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Action plan in place.
Reintroduce using safety. Step up the leadership stance and voice!
Allow the milder character to feel safe and remove the need to go into defensive mode.
Show the stronger character there is no need to step into leadership role. I am present and in control here.
Whew! Now we can get back to just being dogs having FUN!