We Promised To Stop Crying . . .

. . . and we have. . . almost. We can look at a rainbow and smile now. We can look at the fresh blooms on the plants and trees and smile. We can look at pictures of past places we traveled as a pack and mostly smile. It's still very difficult to come home to one less ole boy who used to keep the 'girls' from going bananas over us. It's hard to brush the girls and not have our buddy move as close as he can to ensure the brush gets his big head or back instead of someone else. It's still hard to serve dinner to only two sets of eyes waiting patiently under the table, peaking out to see if they can sneak a kibble before I say eat.

We've mostly stopped crying when we think of our big shouldered boy who insisted on pushing the girls away so he was always first to get in between our legs for a cuddle as we walked by. We even mostly stopped crying when we mow the lawn and see his spot now being used by his sisters.

Does it still hurt? Boy oh boy it sure does. The intense stabbing pain has subsided now to a dull constant ache. We have even giggled once when we recalled how every day at feeding times, with out fail, he made sure to sneak into the room where I was refilling the food bin. If my eyes met his, he quick as a wink took off in the opposite direction as if to say, "Nope, it wasn't me you just saw. I'm waiting patiently under the table like a good boy mom!"

We've almost stopped now.

We were given a beautiful diamond shaped rainbow crystal. It hangs in my kitchen window over looking the back yard where we spent much of our fair weathered days. It sends a constant reminder of his healthy spirit playing over Rainbow Bridge now. Thank you Aunty Jean.

We were given a beautiful butterfly that changes it's colours in the rainbow shades to stand in our garden just under his Prayer Flags. I can watch it in the evenings and almost smile now. Thank you Holly and Taylor. Yes, we finally found the strength to hang his Flags beside his big sister, Duchess Sammy's. I didnt cry much as daddy walked up to set them just right and let his spirit fly. I hardly cried at all when I took pictures to share here.

I almost didn't cry when I saw the first beautiful monarch butterfly of the year in the garden under his flags on the same day we hung them.

I almost didn't cry when I saw the first TWO red rose buds appear the day after we hung his flags.

We didn't cry too much when we spoke to Aunty Bonny and told her we were coming to visit her and Uncle Lou on Van Is. We tried our darnedest not to cry when we told Aunty Jean we'll be seeing her then too.

We're doing pretty good at keeping our promise. We are able to smile when we touch our big boy's urn as he rests with Duchess Sammy now.
He is home with us. For as long as our hearts beat he will be with us.
He is FOREVER our Leader of The Pack.

"You have gone ahead, And nothing is the same.
Leaving paw prints on our hearts,
that will always remain"

Until We Meet Over Rainbow Bridge . . .

Thank you CuddleClone.com

As so many already know, April 29th 2008 was the day King and his pack were rescued and saved from imminent death. On April 29th this year we received notice that King's ashes, along with his gold heart key were ready to come home to us. When we checked the mail that day, low and behold his Cuddle Clone had also arrived. We feel like his story has come to an absolute complete 360°

Many people have asked how we found this company.
When our Beloved Duchess Sammy passed away in 2013, we were devastated. I searched the internet and local shops for a plush dog I could have on my bed to resemble her likeness. I found one that was "close" to her likeness and bought it. A short while later I came across www.cuddleclones.com and was thrilled with the remarkable plush clones these people made. I was upset with myself for not waiting before I purchased the plushy. I vowed I would have a proper Cuddle Clone of her one day.

The table of time passed and our darling King began to age and unfortunately, recently passed over Rainbow Bridge. I can not believe I actually took time out of my grieving to go back to www.cuddleclones.com and revisit the possibility of having him immortalized in a plush clone. I am so happy we did. His markings are perfect! The shades of white undercoat and right down to the spots on his nose and belly fur. Remarkable! The conversation back and forth between us while his clone was being created gave me a feeling of comfort. I felt like these people could feel my grieve and really cared.

Also, a portion of each Cuddle Clone purchased goes to pet-related causes. That makes my heart feel good too.

Soon now we will complete the celebration of King's life and hang his flags along side his sister's. Once that is done, we plan to take a few days off and visit the very important people that King has brought into our lives.

To be continued . . .

Don't Cry Mommy & Daddy

I saw you mow the lawn today, I saw you wipe your eyes. You cried again at dinner time, I was watching from above.
I heard you sob when I did not come to rest my head on you. You even cried when the sunrise shone its glorious shade of orange.

You cry each night and throughout the day, I hear you wish the pain away. I hear you whisper "Where are you bud?" every step you take. With each new day the signs are there, I'm deep inside your heart. I'm still sharing every moment with you all day long, mom and dad.
The birds still sing, the wind still blows, the blossoms fill the air. I haven't left your side, you see. I'm with you everywhere.
The plum and pear and peach trees blossom. The fresh columbines are growing. I'm watching you dig and weed and burn to clean the yard each day. When you go to work, when you're home at rest, when you stroke the girls each day.
Yesterday you cried when you saw the rainbow cross the sky. Please find the beauty that you used to see. Start smiling when you see the signs. Im saying, "Hello my friend."

The missing part that you still seek was just a shell you know. I'm still deep within your heart where only you can tell.
Don't look for me in any place that mankind calls his own. I'm still inside your heart where you placed my seed to grow.

You watered it and gave it strength with all the love you gave me.
I grew to be the kind of friend who will never go away.

You trusted me, I trusted you and we exchanged our hearts. Now let that trust speak loud to you. I'm okay now mom and dad.

Start smiling when we think of me, Im still right beside your heels. Remember the day we played "Spot The Dog" and smile the way I did. We tried see if people could tell which dog was not for real. Do I see a smile mommy? Now wipe away those tears.

You can not cry each time you hold the girls left by your side. They need your strength and not your tears. I want you to learn to smile again. Stop crying all day long. I'm running free with all my friends and watching you all day long.
We rest tired and happy each night mommy and daddy and you need to too!

April 28 2002 - April 8 2016

14 years ago a puppy was born. Against all odds he grew up to be The Most Benevolent Pack Leader that ever walked this earth.
We were given the blessing of being in his fold.

Today we are crushed that his life has ended. King was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma on March 6 2016. King fought against the odds to see one more Spring, one more Easter and be my birthday present for one more year. King knew his time was ending and chose his time to leave.

King left his earthly body at 3:30 pm on April 8th, Friday afternoon. He had used up every cell in his body and was ready to move on to his next task. His will to live was so strong! He fought to make good use of every breath he had left in his lungs. He did not leave one piece of his earthly body behind. Our arms were wrapped around his chest and around his wonderful neck as King took in his last deep breath. He lifted his old white head, stretched out his neck and howled one last great howl into the sky! We, mere humans, with simple minds have no way of knowing nor understanding the complexity of this. For daddy and I, we want to believe it was King signalling his future journey far beyond.

Our hearts are so heavy and in such pain. He tried to tell us not to grieve so hard for him. He is on to new and better experiences. We are trying to listen King. We miss you boy. You were such a good dog. We feel so privileged to have been chosen to feel your fur and hold your earthy body. We are trying hard to be content to live in your absence and open our hearts to feel the love that you have so kindly left behind for us.

I can not write any longer for the tears are blurring my vision. Run free Spirit Pack Leader. Thank you for touching us and allowing us into your heart!
You will always be remembered!

You are so very loved bigboy!

Another Very Scary Day Under Our Belt

Yesterday morning I woke up and did not feel very well at all. My head was to heavy to lift off my pillow. I blinked my eyes to say, "Good Morning mommy." Lady May and Princess MollyDawg had to walk over my body to get out the bedroom door. I didn't care. I didn't move. Mom bent down to stroke my head and leaned over to kiss my forehead. I didn't care. I didn't move. I blinked my eyes and shifted my ears in her direction. She asked me if I wanted to go out. I didn't care. I didn't move. I blinked my eyes and shifted my ears in her direction. She put the leads on the girls and started to take them out. I struggled to get to my feet. I had zero strength. I could not lift my weakened body. Mom dropped the girls leads and came directly to me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hips and shifted my weight so I could stand. She supported me until my legs stopped wobbling. She took off my belly band, (dry again) held me and guided me out the door with the girls. I found the strength to stand long enough for a big pee. I turned and went right back up the ramp and into the house to my small mat beside Mom's computer. I only stopped long enough for mom to put my belly band back on. I know mom always checks her email in the morning and I wanted to be with her today more than ever. I turned away the food but she managed to sneak in my meds on a spoonful of Royal Canin wet dog food. It really tasted good and I let her feed me another tblsp

How could I make her understand me. "Mommy please don't go!"

She tried to walk out the door to go to work. I positioned myself directly in front of her path. I did not point my nose at the door, the way I do when I need out, but I stood lengthwise across the door. She would not get by me. When she came to leave I softly head butted her thigh and tried to push her away from the door. She lovingly guided me back to my bed and kissed me saying she would be home in 4 hours. She needed to get back to work. I gave out a deep sigh and closed my eyes to sleep.

The next thing I knew I heard the front door unlocking and mom was walking back in. "OH MOMMY!" I wagged my tail so hard and even smiled! Mom had red eyes and she knelt beside me and hugged me very very tight. She couldn't make it through the morning with her thoughts of me at home without her. She knew what I was trying to communicate to her and came right back home. I love my mom and my mom loves me!

Mom brought me a yummy smelling, pureed mixture and spoon fed me about 1/4 c. I was finally ready to eat. She did this for me every hour from 9 am until 2 pm. Then we hopped in the car and drove to the docs in Cache Creek.

By the time we reached Doctor Ross I was feeling a bit better. He weighed me and to my surprise I had gained 4 lbs! Mom was over the moon. Then why was I feeling so bad? Doc Ross explained I probably have small tumours throughout my entire body. Hemangiosarcoma is a cancer in the blood. It travels through out the body and new tumours grow in my organs. Maybe I had a small tumour burst the night before. Maybe I was able to clot the blood and absorb the blood into my system.
Mom talked to the doc about the possibility of putting me on a richer food that will give me extra strength yet still be easy on my tummy. Doc Ross suggested we stay on the softened Royal Canin GI kibble and maybe introduce another variety of GI wet food. Its a higher energy protein food. Mom bought a case and promised doc that she'd be careful not to give me too much too soon. I guess that means I'll be getting fed every hour or two again. Hey, I can live with that. We said our good byes and Doc said he'd see me again in another month! Woo Hoo a positive statement if I've ever heard one!

Mom and I headed home and stopped just 10 minutes away for a spoonful of my new food and a picture to show how happy I am to be heading back home.

King enjoys a yummy spoonful of food along the HWY on our way home from Cache Creek Vet

A lovely happy smile after a little outside rest and a small snack

Day by Day

Another new day dawns and I greet it with a wagging tail. The sun has been warm these last few days and I'm enjoying being outside. I try to lay in the grass beside my mom for as long as I can. Yes, she is always back and forth and not in one spot very long. I'm just too tired to do much following anymore. As long as I see my mom hold up the palm of her hand and I hear her say, "Just wait, I'm coming right back, buddy." I can almost stay for a short period of time.
I'm still sleeping all night long and my belly band is dry as well. I'm being fed 4 times a day but Im still losing weight. Mom says she doesn't care how much I eat but, I have to only have small amounts each time so it doesn't upset my tummy. Im taking in, and holding down, 5 cups of food a day now. I'm drinking plenty of water as well. Mom says that's thanks to the half a tablet of prednisone. It's so tiny I don't even know I'm taking it.

Yesterday we had a special new toy come in the mail. Mom said Mamma Yvette, Auntie Paula and Auntie Lisa are doing a small fundraiser with some stuff to help pay down the vet bill at Dr. Ubi's.

Our mom surprised us with two new interactive toys. They're very cool. Thank you so much for shipping them to us Auntie Lisa. You are awesome. The blue one is called a "Dog Tornado" and the red one is called "Dog Magic". There's even a DVD to show you how to use them properly. Mom says that's pretty cool.
I can't wait to play with it when it's full of treats. Last year, mom bought a different paw shaped toy so now we will all be able to play with our toys at the same time instead of having to take turns.
Mom uploaded a video on my YouTube site so you can see what the new ones look like. She'll video us using them in a few days.
Meanwhle I'm back to sleep now, I've had my morning walk about and Im very tired again.
I hope you enjoy the video.

Happy Easter to Everyone

My mom and dad are very happy this Easter. Our Royal family is still in tact. I'm still hanging in there. I refuse to let go of my wonderful life just yet. I'm still on my regimented diet of rice and chicken puree. I've stopped the Omeprazone but I'm still taking a half tablet of prednisone a day. Our trip to visit the doc on Thurs. went really well. He gave me some Royal Canin GI kibble and some soft canned food that will make it easy for my tummy to digest. It's very yummy. Mom says if I can keep it down and I don't get the runs I can have as much as I want. I lost 10 lbs since my last visit so my mom is quite concerned about my weight.
Doc removed P. Mollydawg's stitches and was pleased with her progress. She's s'posed to walk slow and continue with her warm/cold compresses before mom and dad do a range of motion exercise. No jumping around or running after me. That's just fine by me, cuz I really don't feel much like running. It's about all I can do to walk beside my mommy.

Yesterday mom was outside digging in her raspberry bed. I really, really wanted to be beside her but she kept moving back and forth across the yard. I started to get a bit winded so she took me back into the house. She wishes I could be comfortable just to lay a few feet away from her and watch her work. I think my abandonment issues from my past are sneaking back in to haunt me again. I am so afraid my mom will leave me. What if I fall asleep and she runs away on me.. what if I turn my back and she walks out of the yard and I never see her again...??
She tells me everyday that she will never do that. In my ole heart I know that. Maybe I just want to use every second of my short time left to be by her side. Mom says, "that's okay ole King, mommy loves you and we can lay in the house if you would rather." She loves my like that.

Our good friend Lil Molly is visiting this weekend. At first I was worried she'd be a bother to me. She's not. She's playing with Lady May and leaving me alone. I like that. P. Mollydawg had to snap at her at one point cuz she walked right onto her sore leg. YIPES! That was so not good. She really is a clumsy kinda girl. We love her very much though. She's been in our pack since she was only 8 weeks old. My how she's grown. This is when we met in 2009.

Mom says the Easter Bunny wanted to bring us some really special treats this year. I guess mom and the bunny had a conversation and it was decided that the treats would be an extra hug and a spoonful of meal supplements for me. MMMmmm... that's okay by me. If you want to wish me well... pray for a normal stool and no vomiting. Then I can eat until, my heart is content.